bread making - am i on candid camera?

is someone laughing at me?  hardy har har.

a loaf of udi's gluten free bread costs anywhere from $4.99 to $4.69 depending on where i get it.  that adds up.  so i am figuring that one can make bread & save moullah...right!?  i have been dragging my feet and i finally found the gumption to try it.

with a bread maker.

and here is my excellent adventure.

i decided to use the sandwich bread recipe from the revised artisanal gluten free cooking cookbook.

the ingredients are so simple:

gf flour mix (golden dust i call it)

organic sugar

butter or margarine

my rice milk/coconut milk blend

xanthan gum

salt

yeast

step #1 read directions on the operation of a borrowed bread maker.

step #2 add ingredients in order to the bowl. 

i put the wet ingredients in first, then added the gf flour blend & other dry ingredients.  i placed tabs of earth's balance soy free spread in the corners and that middle part is the "well" for the yeast to go in. 

so i got everything in the bowl, started the bread maker and then i realized something very important.

see that first line about the milk? "MILK 90-100 degrees"

yup, i put cold freakin milk in the bottom.

that's my super mad face.

so, with a huge pout, i took out the margarine tabs and saved them...and threw everything else out...

i wanted to cry as i tossed my 3 cups of flour out...it still makes me mad...

i nuked the milk a little too long....i only need 100 degrees. 

so i popped it in the freezer and BAM.  

100 degrees.

i  begrudgingly mixed everything back up, placed it all back into the bowl and started my machine

...3.5 hours later....

drumroll please....

yup, that's right...this is what i opened up the lid to:  a mix that didn't get mixed. enter super mad face again.

WHAT HAPPENED!?!?!?  

#1 no bleepin bread.

#2 i'm down 6 CUPS of flour now.

#3 i'm not wasting another 3 cups of damn flour.

so i put it in a bowl (it actually smelled quite nice) & mixed that hot mess up.  with visions of homemade bread in my head, i put my grandma's bread towel over it hoping for some magical rising powers from heaven!

nope, no rising for me.  so what to do with dough...hmmmmm?  the heavens opened up...

grandma:  "MAKE PIZZA DOUGH!!!!"  (which i have completely crashed and burned at since we went gluten free)

surprise pizza night!

and the crowd goes WILLLLLDDDDDDDDD!!!!!

gone.

it was the best pizza yet.

you can imagine how bad my pizza crusts have been...

my words to my kids came flying in my face:

it's not the mistakes you make that count...it's how you fix em.

i have been dragging my feet with bread making because i was afraid of exactly what happened to me:

bread loaf failure.  i will be trying bread again...like the recipe says & not with a bread maker.

and it will be excellent - someday:)